Day 51.......helping out others.
3 Girls and 4 Suitcases.
So, first off, my coffee maker is fab. I got up yesterday morning and my first cuppa was waiting to be poured from the pot. Yum and contented sigh, which was repeated this morning.
I spent a couple of hours on FB yesterday morning. Not without being up and down for food and shower etc but it was amazing how that 2 hours just disappeared. One of my bestest, oldest friend was diagnosed with cancer and so I launched into how I may be of use.
An email to her via Bill (she's not online) and instructions for him to make and deliver remedies for her plus a wee shout out to some spiritual folk for universal help and my work was done. She will either smiled or struck me off her friendship list.......hopefully the former.
I did a bit of reading and note-making before heading out to see a beautiful mom and baby combo. I've visited before but this time I was on my own and so was mommy. We spent hours chatting and comparing notes and the 5+ hours just flew by. I hadn't planned to spend that long there but Ali' was visiting with a friend, so I had no reason to rush home. I was reminded of how isolating motherhood, especially those early months, can be.
Even as an experienced baby-handler, I remember the anxiety of getting-it-right. Making decisions for someone else which would affect their lives and being totally responsible for that little beings survival.
Now, there is no doubt who's really in charge in that new mom/baby relationship. The babe has all the power.......and the mom has to give up any idea that she has about having control. If you are someone who has been used to being in control of everything in your life, motherhood can be especially challenging.
I have always thanked the universe (lying-in recent years, I have thanked it) for sending Andrew into my life. I would never have begun my spiritual journey if I hadn't had to struggle with all the emotions of motherhood. Bill has been like a huge magnet, at times I have tried to repel him and his love but the magnestism between us always returns to positive and I find that he's helped me to be a little less 'repellent' each time. At all times, now (except when I'm in need of Holly-personalising and Beech-intolerance) I know that I am hugely lucky to have had him stick by me all this time, through all of my emotional darkness and my perceived failings. When you have built a wall around yourself, as I had done in my childhood/teens, it's difficult to let someone through it. Like the magical wall into Diagon Alley, in Harry Potter, we all have a way to let someone in so if you are like me (of old) ....remember that.
Oh, that was a wee detour...hope you didn't mind. It ought to have been on the Bach Blog....may move some of it there later.
I came home by bus, despite my plan for walking home. It was pitch dark and I decided that I hadn't walked that area before so it would be better to get the bus. I exited the subway station at the opposite end from usual, right beside the LCBO (wine store) so that I could pick up a bottle. I ended up with a 4 litre box of Pino.......because it was on sale-lol.
I am so much better with my wine consumption than I used to be. That moderation that I have striven for seems to have appeared and I only had a small glass last night despite having my big box. Progress indeed to choose to have some decaff' rather than another glass-yippee.
Ali sent a text to say that she wouldn't be home till midnightish and so I was in bed before she got home although I did hear her come in.
I had a lovely chat with Bill on the phone and watched some of my taped shows because it was the first time I'd had the house to myself.
I was brushing my teeth when I remembered that I hadn't done my 30 seconds of 'planking' so I went downstairs and did it and felt very proud of myself. I have to do my 40 seconds today-yikes.
Anyways folks, I am off to see Andrew play rugby. He's organised for me to be picked up at a subway station by one of his team-mates so I better not be late.
Love to all,
Lxxxx
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