3 Girls and 4 Suitcases.
Sometimes the Universe gives you signs and this full week off from the Blog-writing has made me feel that it's now supposed to be a weekly Blog. There isn't a lot of folk who read it every day, anyways and it feels like my daily-writing needs to be penned into another form...probably into that book of mine.
The risk of doing a weekly Blog will be that I may make the posts far too long for anyone to be bothered reading them but I will just have to take that risk :-)
It was always meant to be a way to keep folk connected to me and it will still be here, should anyone need to connect with what's going on with the Toronto Denhams. It will just be a Tuesday read and not a daily one.
This past week has found me doing not a lot of anything. Even my daily inspirational readings didn't happen because my head didn't feel up to the task. Physically, I was pretty much over the food poisoning (we will just call it that, for want of a diagnosis of my symptoms) in a few days. I spent a lot of the first three days in bed, doing nothing but dozing in and out of sleep. After the awful 'ickys' had settled, my back began to ache in a way that it hasn't for years. It was like a gnawing pain that I couldn't escape from and in the middle of Friday night, on getting back into bed, I lost it completely to panic and pain and pretty much begged that all of the wonderful things that I believe in, with my whole heart, would help me and take away the pain and let me sleep...........and they did. And my back has been great since.
I have a renewed sense of trust in my Reiki, Angels, Bach and Mindfulness (even if I did reach breaking point because of doubt) and I know that this past week of rest, reflection and renewal was meant to happen and to happen on the run up to Easter.
Easter Sunday found me in church. The first time in church since we moved here and the first Easter Service for many years. I used to go to church every Sunday until I chose to back away from formal religion, in all its 'shady' forms.
I was born on Good Friday and it was no co-incidence that my meltdown happened on that night. Think me bonkers all you like (Billy Denham) but I know that the spirituality of Easter and all that it stands for (HOPE) played a big part in my week of sickness. As I typed that last sentence I was smiling and thinking 'Thank God that I only had to suffer a bad back and some food poisoning and not the hanging-up-on-a-cross-to-die-thing'
Trust and Hope and Faith can be difficult things to hold on to when we are struggling with our health, our relationships, our finances or any other thing that puts us under pressure. I consider myself hugely lucky to have all the tools that I have, to help me through any situation that comes up for me (including illness)
The Sermon was lovely, on Sunday morning. The church was full and the minister wryly brought that fact into his words as he spoke about the falling numbers attending weekly worship. He spoke about how we don't have to feel hopeless despite all the conflict and injustice in the world and it struck a chord with me because I NEVER feel hopeless. I always know that I can do something to help the world, even if to many it seems pointless and of no use.
I pray.
I have since I was a child, every single night (unless I have had too much vino) and sometimes several times during the day. I now am able to also 'send' Reiki out into the world (it's not really sent, just drawn by whoever I bring my love and attention to, if they wish it) and it makes me feel like I am always able to do something to help. So there is never any sense of hopelessness.
Now, Trust and Faith are a whole different ball-game but as this Blog is already probably too philosophical, I will refrain from expanding on my need for the Bach Flower Remedies, Gentian (helps you be positive) Mimulus and Aspen (for Fear)
The Girls were wonderful, when I was unwell. Jen even ran downstairs, when she heard my 'puking', to hold my hair back, rub my back and give me loo roll to wipe the snot. I am proud to say that I did not cry for my mum (I did that later, in the middle of Friday night) and Bill will attest to that being my usual wailing when I am sick
They were pretty much self-service for a couple of days and they just got on with it.
Alisons school show was on, on Wednesday evening and so I steeled myself and managed to sit through it without having to belch loudly (as I did for several days and am still slightly prone to, even this week) and it was great. Really funny and titled 50 shades of Black (Black being their drama teachers name) it was made up of loads of little short skits that they had written themselves. It was nice to finally put faces to some of the names we hear at home.
You may be wondering what caused the food poisoning (or not) and I cannot definitively say. My guess would go as follows:
I ate a scone which had been in the freezer and it had been in the freezer because I had decided that those particular very yummy scones made me have a huge problem with burping. Why did I eat it? Well, I had defrosted them when Hol and Em were here and it felt a shame to waste it.
The burping began a few hours after the scones consumption and carried on all afternoon . For a very late lunch, I had a salmon/cream cheese bagel which I wolfed down and I wasn't really very hungry at all at dinner-time so I tried a little pasta and a cup of tea but they didn't really want to go down and so I stopped trying to make them.
By that time I was feeling pretty uncomfortable and was cursing the scone big-time. Wandering around, burping for Scotland, I decided to head downstairs to lie down. I know that lying down doesn't really help but it can sometimes make sitting up again dislodge lots of trapped air. It did just that but I didn't feel any better.
I had a couple of false starts when I had to race to the bathroom, thinking I was going to vomit. Those of you who know me well know that I hate being sick and I'm sure that I have a built in defense mechanism against allowing myself to throw-up but on the third visit........well, you don't need the details.
Suffice to say, I haven't been able to face a cup of black tea or a salmon/cream cheese bagel since and I don't see them in my foreseeable future.
Was the salmon off? Who knows.
I had left-over chinese the previous night so was it that? I dinnae ken.
Perhaps it was a combination of those two and the burp-causing scone?
Ah, who cares........I feel better now and the silver lining is probably that I lost a few pounds because I also haven't had any wine in 10 days.
My eyes are beginning to resume normality. Not sure why my eyes get affected but the last time I had food poisoning was when the tsunami hit Japan and my eyes went really wonky then, too. I am glad to report that my recovery was far, far quicker this time.
And anything going on apart from my illness?
Andrew is due back from the Bahamas today. Us girls have been a tad jealous because we were greeted by snow on Easter morning.
I have yet to restart my search for our new home.
My hair was highlighted last Tuesday before the sickness. I love it.
The girls and I went to the movies last night to see Insurgence which we all enjoyed. It was a last minute decision to go because we had a Day pass for the TTC. They issue them on holidays and it made it cheaper to go there last night (without transport costs) than adding in transport costs to go tonight for $5 Tuesday. The lovely wee theatre we go to is only $7 regular for the girls and $10 for me. Ali had already gone to work, when Jen and I decided we'd go and so she was surprised to find us sitting at the crossroads waiting for her after work. I had made her lasagne and boxed it for her to eat on the subway ride. A mini-surprise-adventure indeed.
And that's about that.
See you next Tuesday.....unless I change my mind and write again tomorrow :-)
Much Love,
Lxxx
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